Stealing the Heart of Mr. Steele

[Cordelia]This text is © NôvelDrama/.Org.

I don't want to think about Angelica, but my mind cannot help but wander to the scene from just a moment ago. She was both loving and terrifying in equal measure and I can't be sure which face to believe-the one who cares or the one who hurts. As Clark drove me home that afternoon, I found I couldn't stop thinking of our last interaction. She was equal parts caring and frightening. With the emotions of the day, including Atlas wanting to start our relationship despite Angelica's needs, I am torn about how to proceed.

Do I let myself love Atlas, even though it could break my sister's mind?

Or does none of it matter because her mind is already broken beyond what anyone could fix?

Angelica and I have never had the easiest of relationships, but it has never been so openly competitive or antagonistic. We aren't very close in age, so we were never interested in the same things at the same time. Angelica is 6 years older than I am. By the time I was old enough to understand how to play dolls, she was becoming interested in boys. She was already in college when I entered middle school.

I was 19 years old when I first met Atlas Steele. He was a handsome man of 32. I knew I didn't have al chance with him, but that didn't stop me from having a crush, just like many big sisters do around their older siblings and their friends. He was a "big brother crush that felt like an impossible dream

Until he became my husband and everything changed.

When my parents asked me to marry him in her place, I remember being both delighted and disgusted by the suggestion. You cannot simply swap one sister with another just because you already rented the 'church and reception hall! But yet I also wanted him. Angelica was not

en when she said I coveted what did not belong to me. Atlas was never meant f me. And now we are divorced. Other than this his child growing within me, I do not have any type of a claim to him.

If I had not become pregnant, would he even be paying me any more attention than before? Would he be kissing me secretly in offices if I weren't growing him an heir?

"A penny for your thoughts?" Clark queries as he pulls into the parking garage of our building. "You've been so silent. What happened?"

"Do you think I should give up on him?" turn my face towards his. When our eyes meet I watch as his expression changes from concern to surprise. "On Atlas. He has Angelica now and..." his face falls. "I'm sorry Clark, I shouldn't have asked you." He reaches for my hand. "I'd be lying. Cordelia, if I didn't say that part of me hopes you can someday give him up," he laughs. "But I'd be cruel to suggest it. As much as I wish you could love me Instead, I also know that I can never be Atlas for you."

*If you love my brother, love him with all of your heart, don't give up on him," he sighs. "You didn't see the way he was when you were gone, Cordelia. He was a broken man. He couldn't do anything but worry about you. He wasn't able to rest until we finally knew where you were and even then he didn't stop until

you were safe. He couldn't."

*Clark, I'm so sorry...but I do love your brother. I just don't want to hurt anyone else." Like Angelica or

Clark.

"Shh..." he places a finger on my lips. "I know you aren't trying to hurt me, Cordelia. It isn't in your nature. But I also know you cannot help feeling what you feel."

His heart shines through his eyes and I know he holds a deep affection for me, an affection I cannot quite match. I understand that feeling better than most-I felt the same for Atlas. I know there is no use telling him that he should give up on me because he cannot change his heart any more than I can.

I love Atlas Steele. I always have. He captured my heart the very first time I saw him.

Clark pats my hand and as he unbuckles slumps in his seat. "Sometimes I wish you had met me first."

I don't tell him It wouldn't have mattered, that I would have just as likely fallen in love with Atlas as soon as I saw him, even if I had already known Clark. That it isn't just the way he looks but who he is that draws me. I would never say something to him intentionally that might burden his heart even more. Clark means

too much to me.

Clark walks me to my door and as he turns to walk towards his suite of rooms, I call out his name, "Clark,

wait.

As he turns back towards me, I stand on tip-toe and place a small, gentle kiss on his right cheek. His eyes open wider in surprise at my sudden unexpected display of affection.

"Cordelia," his hand rests on the kiss. "..."

"Thank you, Clark. Thank you for being who you are" I smile before he can say anything he might regret. "I wouldn't ever want you to be anyone else.

His gaze grows intense as he looks down at me. Leaning down, he comes close enough to kiss me on the lips, but then he tilts my head downward to place a brotherly kiss on my forehead.

Wrapping his arms around me, he holds me to his chest

*Clark?"

"Please," he begs. "Just let me hold you.

I wrap my arms around his waist and take comfort in his warmth and companionship.

Even if I cannot love him the way he needs, that doesn't mean I do not love him dearly. I don't think I could have made it this far without his companionship. I only hope that someday I can find a way to repay the debt I feel for him as he tries to hold my heart together as his heart breaks in two.

VictoryAnne Vice Author

Poor Clark...