Chapter 37
My legs went numb from sitting on the floor. I used the door to slowly push myself up.
In a daze, I opened the drawer and poured two pills into my hand.
Then, I put them back into the bottle.
What difference did it make whether I took them or not?
If there’s no difference, then why not end it all right now?
My blurred vision began to focus on the kitchen utensils beside me.
The knife was so sharp-one cut and it would all be over. One cut, and I wouldn’t have to live in this world anymore.
My thoughts were chaotic, like a giant net tightening around me.
I couldn’t break free.
By the time I came to, the sharp edge of the knife had already broken through the skin of my wrist.
Drip.
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Blood dripped intermittently into the sink.
I suddenly threw the knife away, turned on the faucet, and rinsed the wound, scrubbing it hard.
My fingertips grew cold.
I didn’t stop until the cut turned white from the water, then I shut off the flow.
I bandaged the wound skillfully, hiding it beneath a sports wristband.
It seemed I could no longer find a reason to keep living.
I hadn’t eaten all day yesterday. As soon as I opened the freshly cooked porridge, the steam barely hit my nose before I turned and vomited.
My empty stomach could only manage to expel bile.
I pulled out my laptop and sent in my resignation letter.
When Janet heard the news, she immediately ran to the house and questioned me:”Why are you quitting all of a sudden?”
“I just don’t want to do it anymore,” I replied with a smile.
Janet couldn’t understand. “But… you’re about to get promoted. How can you not want to work anymore?”
Without warning, she grabbed my hand.
She frowned as she cautiously pushed up my wristband, revealing the faintly bloodstained bandages beneath.
“What are you doing, Elisabeth?! What are you doing to yourself again?!”
I awkwardly pulled my hand back, sitting on the floor with a careless smirk. “It’s nothing, just a momentary lapse.”
Janet yanked me to my feet.
My vision went black for a second as I, having eaten nothing, collapsed into her arms.
Startled, she froze. “You haven’t been eating again, have you? Look at how much weight you’ve lost!”
It took me a while to steady myself enough to sit up. “I have no appetite.”
“I’m taking you out to eat.”
I opened my month to rear, but Janet shoved a piece of candy into it before I could speak Sobiction.”
I had no choice but to let her drag me out the door.