I Want To Be The Light That Shines Through Your Darkness
She was surprised to see him park at a cemetery. There, he walked up to a grave and knelt before the grave.
He lowered his head and that time, a heavy rain began to fall. Brigitta had to remain inside the car, watching him through the window.
His growls could be heard and his cries went up to the skies, mixing with the sounds of thunders. “Mama…” His painful voice could be heard. As the rain beats the ground harshly so did his voice rang out loud in the air. “Mama… I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” He shouted like a broken man.
His cries could be heard. “I have killed two, mama, for you. For you, I won’t rest until I take down the remaining five. Oh mama! How I wish you were alive! How I wish you weren’t treated like a slave! How I wish you weren’t raped and beaten mercilessly by those barbaric men… oh mama… I miss you so much.” He cried.
The rain went on for another one hour but he remained there still, sobbing, missing his mother and wishing she was alive.
When the rain subsided, his cloth was already wet, he looked up to the sky then turned back slowly, as he walked to his car, his shivering mouth could be seen, he was cold and his suits couldn’t protect him. He was almost getting into his car when Brigitta suddenly stepped out of her car and ran to him.
“I know your pain, I’m sorry,” she tried to comfort him.
“You know nothing of my pain,” he said harshly.
“My mum also died when I was of your age. I know my mum didn’t suffer like yours but I still know how it feels, let me comfort you, Mr. Ragnar.” She said and took steps closer to him.
“Your mother started my misery. Your mum is the cause of the destruction of my happy family,” he said with pain piercing his heart like a sharp blade, “if your mum had not poisoned my dad, my dad would have been alive and my mom wouldn’t have to be accused by the Wigglesworth’s family as a murderer. And I wouldn’t have been sold to Miguel Marcola, a wicked and heartless man as a sex slave.” He said painfully.
“I’m not my mother,” she said with tears gently streaming down her face.
“But you have her blood running through you. For whenever I set my eyes on you, I see the beginning of my pain and misery. I don’t know why fate had brought us together but with you around me, I can never heal.” He added subtly, “I don’t even want to heal. I want death. I love death. But I must finish off the Wigglesworth’s family firstly.”
She suddenly collapsed on him and hugged him tightly, “I am sorry.” She cried. She understood his pain but she wasn’t her mother. Why must she suffer for what her mum did. Although it’s weird to think that her mum would poison someone but she didn’t know all about her mom as she was still little when she lost her mom.Material © of NôvelDrama.Org.
“I know it will be hard to forgive me for the misery my mother had caused you and your family but don’t send me away, “she said, her heart hurting deeply.
Then she caught cold too, she was now gritting her teeth and her body was shivering.
He disengage her from the hug gently and removed his suit then he covered her with it, “life is vanity afterall.” Then he lead her to the backseat of his car. “I’ll send someone to come and pick up your car.”
Brigitta lowered her head in shame and pity, she continued crying.
Soon, he pulled over at the house and he helped her out. The cold had now turn to fever, she didn’t know why she suddenly developed such sickness.
He lead her inside his room instead, and then straight to the bathroom where he began to undress her until she was naked. She didn’t feel embarrassed like the first time she was naked before him.
He placed her in the warm bathtub gently and said, “It will keep you warm.”
She nodded, unable to look at his face. She had seen him cry out his agony before his mother’s grave. It’s really traumatizing for anyone to watch their mother being raped and beaten.
Ragnar Marshall was about to leave when she spoke up, “sir… You are also feeling cold, why don’t you keep yourself warm?”
“Pain makes me feel better. It’s the only way I feel alive,” he said, his hand was now on the knob of the door.
“Please come and stay here with me, sir.” She pleaded.
He considered her request and then began to undress, after he was naked, he sat inside the bathtub too. He was now facing her and her legs were spread on his. The water was warm and only their head escaped the bathtub.
After a while, he asked her, “why did you trail after me after I had dropped you at home?”
“I was worried about you, sir.” She answered, “but I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. But I need to reiterate this, if you get too close too me, you will get hurt. Don’t get too comfortable for me cause the end will be disastrous. Like I once told you, I won’t live long.”
“Sir, I already love you.” She confessed. This time, she poured out her heart. There was no point hiding her feelings.
“I know you don’t love me, infact, you may never do but… It’s okay.” She said as she lowered her head shyly.
“A waste of love.”
“Sir?”
“You heard me. There are many men who had a better life out there that you can love. The only thing you can reap from loving me is destruction. I am a man who is destroyed. I am in my own darkness and I even long for death. I’m not the type of man you are supposed to love. May I advise you to immediately find someone else to love so you would not have to say in the future that you weren’t warned.”
“Just keep me close to you. That’s all I want. Don’t ever send me away,” she said desperately.
He wondered why she was adamant about wanting to be with her. “All my wealth has been willed too…”
“Charity.” She interrupted. “I already know that, sir. This is what my heart longer for. I don’t even have control over it. It’s not because of your money, I am not interested in it. I didn’t love you because of it. Infact, it’s good you have willed everything to charity. But no matter how your darkness seemed to have consumed you, I want to be the light that shines through you.”