Living With The Player

CAMILLA RENÉE

FRIDAY.

When I bussed Dylan’s forehead and left his apartment at 10 AM, I felt the rest of my day would turn to shit. I’ve been at peace for so long.

I got to my residence with no Miranda. Just my ex-boyfriend resting over her bed. His appearance wasn’t the issue, it was the news he plunged that was.

Kyle informed me that Miranda had been crushing on him longer than she let out. He said, “I’m glad she told you everything.”

But my best friend left out the prologue, sieved the plot and shortened the epilogue.

And no, I did not distil the information before a knock came through and Harper strode into my room.

How did he know where I live? Let’s add it to the pile of things that make nominal sense at the moment.

Now it’s me, my ex-boyfriend, and the guy that looks like a horror movie actor.

“Are you scared of me? What did your boyfriend tell you that has you shaken with fear?”

Kyle blocked the little space between Harper and me.

“What are you doing here?”

“Who is this Camilla?”Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

I and Kyle uttered the same thing.

“I just thought I’d drop by and say hi since we barely exchanged greetings yesterday.”

“I don’t know you. There is no reason to exchange fucking greetings.”

I bit my tongue accidentally, tasting my blood and groaning.

“Dylan is your boyfriend? Your boyfriend and I are friends, isn’t that reason enough?”

“Dylan is your boyfriend?”

Kyle murmurs. My head is spinning too fast at the situation, and I don’t think I can stomach correcting Harper.

“You and Dylan don’t seem like pals to me. I’ll say this once. Leave.”

“Ouch. No way to treat a guest. Sure Dylan and I had issues, as any friendship or relationship does. Recall you and Dylan having problems too? How did you forgive him for that?”

I clench my fist.

“Leave.”

“You heard the lady, you have no right to stay here any longer, so go. Now.”

Kyle mandated, still standing in front of me.

I exhale largely.

“Fine then. You don’t want my friendship or information, I’ll leave. I could’ve warned you against the impending doom that awaits your heart.”

Harper conceded, a smirk brewing at the edge of his lips. The kind that makes you want to vomit. I’ll be regretting whatever comes out of his lips next.

“Tell Dylan I said hi, and he’s a coward for leaving like that after everything I did. You ain’t all that, anyway.”

Kyle lurched forward, I wrapped my hands around his arm before he could hit anything or Harper.

“Why does everyone want to punch me? Is your pussy that good? Is it?”

Harper is speaking to Kyle and my cheeks are heated, I contemplate letting go and allowing Kyle hit him or something.

“No. Don’t answer that. I’ll just ask Dylan when he comes crawling back to us. The same way he did when you left him. Has he told you that story yet?”

Harper chuckles, turning his gaze to me. I’ve never had a thing for blondes and Harper just makes it worse. I need to slap that fucking smirk off his face.

“Dylan was crushed. Like a tiny little bird. I saw him. I brought him in and-”

“And he left you. God! Take a hint. Stop whining like a baby. He fucking left you. Now you leave!”

I yelled losing my temper.

“Are you gay or something? You have feelings for him and he couldn’t reciprocate?”

I paused, a smirk forming on my cheeks. Harper’s nose flares with annoyance, and finally his lips clip shut.

“If Dylan left, it’s your fault. If he doesn’t want to come back, it’s your fault. So get the hell out of my room before I call campus security and have you kicked out of this Fucking school.”

I released Kyle’s arm, stepping out of his skin and facing Harper myself.

He snorts. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He peaks at both of us and then struts out with his hands in his pocket.

Once the door is locked, I slip down on the bed and exhale.

“About Miranda and I…”

“I have so many things on my mind. Now I’m adding my best friend eye fucking my boyfriend for longer than she admitted? I have no clue what you want me to say, Kyle. It’s best if I leave the room, give you two some space to talk. I have a few issues to sort out myself.”

“I thought she told you, I wouldn’t have spoken if-”

“It’s fine Kyle. I love Miranda. She’s my best friend. I do not know why she hides that from me, but I’ll be back.”

I picked a few items from my closet and slipped away to shower then change.

When I’m done, I’ll put a call through Jimmy. We have to talk.

I need to explain. He deserves an explanation.

****

The same fate befell me at Graham’s apartment where I met up with Jimmy who went inside to get me a glass of water.

His idle phone on the table beeped, his call logs flashing across the screen with one prominent name.

“Harper Kennedy.”

That’s not a coincidence. I picked it up as Jimmy took his first stride back into the living room.

“You know Harper?”

I drop his phone, searching his eyes for the truth.

“Camilla, wait.”

“How do you know Harper? Is it just a coincidence that the same guy turns up and… Explain Jimmy.”

I scoff.

“I can explain.”

“You should because I don’t like the explanation my brain is giving off.”

“Harper and I are old friends.”

“You’re friends with him?”

I’m not judging. I’m highly disoriented and perplexed.

“Yes, but we haven’t been in touch for a while and-”

“Wait, Harper and Dylan were friends. Harper knew what happened between the both of us. Did Harper tell you as well because you were there that night? Harper and Dylan met after that night, but it’s too much of a coincidence for you not to know. Did the both of us meet afterwards because of Harper? Explain!”

I demanded.

“Camilla. I had no clue. When we met, I didn’t know Dylan or his connection with Harper I swear.”

“Then after? After that night. After Harper and Dylan met. After Dylan told Harper what happened! What you witnessed as well! What happened then!”

I’m yelling loudly but I do not care. My head might explode soon. But I do not fricking care.

“Cam-”

“I’m not a fucking child you need to soothe, I need answers. I want you to give me answers. Tell me the fuck happened. Tell me the truth. When we met again on the elevator that day. The dates and all of that. Was it fucking planned? Did Harper fucking plan all of it?”

My chest hurts at the thought of it all.

“Camilla. Wait.”

“Tell me the truth goddamit! Tell me!”

I howl.

“Yes. But that’s not half of it. That’s not the entire thing. Let me explain. That night at the party. I had no clue. I swear I had no fucking clue. That part was purely coincidental. You and I met by fate.”

I’m biting excessively against my lower lip. My eyes are hot with unspilled tears. Oh, God. Fucking shit.

“It was the best night of my life. The very best and I swear to God I fell for you, Camilla. Then we went upstairs, I wished we had never gone upstairs, and we saw him. I didn’t know what you two were or what had happened and I couldn’t contact you either and I thought that was it after you left, then I got in contact with Harper who wouldn’t stop talking about this new guy he met. How they clicked. How he knew they were perfect for each other in some sick way. He said the guy had his heart crushed by some girl, and it was perfect for him.”

I’m breathing through my mouth. My anxiety clogged every air in my lung.

“I was barely paying attention until Harper said his name. Harper knew something was up from my facial expressions. I couldn’t hide it. I told him everything, and that’s when Harper came up with that idea. He said that if I were with you, then Dylan and you would never get back together, so Dylan wouldn’t have any chance or reason to leave.”

I choke on nothing, heaving against my chest with a heavy heart. No. No. Fuck no.

Miranda. Kyle. Harper. Jimmy. This is too much.

“I swear to God I did not care about any of it. I only agreed to his sick plan because I wanted you either way. I was in love with you and I wasn’t thinking. Camilla.”

“Harper kept tabs. He called. He texted. He asked questions about us. How you asked me out. If you’ve touched me yet. Kissed me. I’m almost certain he told you about Dylan coming here as well. That means you knew. That means you’ve been lying to me this entire time. That means we built this entire relationship on lies. Oh, God.”

I gasp, stepping back.

“You can’t possibly do this Camilla. I lied to you. Yes. But I didn’t do it for Harper.”

“Like fuck you didn’t!”

I seethe.

“You should’ve broken off contact. Dylan broke off contact with him. Instead, you let him keep tabs on me. You let him follow me around like some psycho. You knew. All this time when you guessed things about me. It wasn’t because you were naturally good. It’s because you trained yourself to be perfect. To be con free. It’s because of him. You-”

I pause and choke on a sob.

“Dylan’s not perfect. You can’t possibly believe that he is. Why do you think Harper wanted Dylan? What do you think they did together? Dylan is not the good guy. You’re a fool to believe he is.”

I gasp, staring at Jimmy. Those blue eyes filled with tenderness and love have dispersed. It filled this side of him with venom. It’s a side I haven’t seen before. I tear my gaze away.

“I said something. Having no con is a con. My subconscious knew somehow, but I shoved her away. I thought-”

I stop myself to chuckle.

“I came here to explain myself. I came here because I felt sorry for you. I felt bad about what happened. I knew we were together and I still-”

“Wait, a minute. You spent the night with Dylan! You fucked him!”

I squeeze my eyes and brush the hair away.

“No. I didn’t fuck him.”

Jimmy’s features softened, but it’s only for two seconds because my next three words are going to break it all over again.

“But I cheated.”

“We were in a relationship and I did something with him. We didn’t have sex, but it was wrong and I came here because I thought you were good. I felt you didn’t deserve it. I figured I was a bad person, but now I see that-”

I blink furiously. No way. I will not cry at a moment like this.

“We’re over Jimmy. You and I are done.”

“How can you not see that I love you? How are you choosing Dylan over me? Dylan who hurt you. Dylan who tore your heart to shreds. All I’ve ever done was love you.”

“No! All you ever did was create an image of this perfect man. You made me believe you were flawless. You made me think we needed to be flawless to work. But Dylan has flaws. Yes. He does. And so do I. But you know what the difference is? He admits his flaws. At the moment, I pick the devil I know over the angel I do not.”

I grit my teeth, bending over to clasp my purse.

“I love you, Camilla. Please don’t do this to us. I love you.”

I blink thrice preferring to save my tears for when he’s not around.

“Goodbye, Jimmy.”

I revolved and strode out of the room.

****

I bowed my head and let the tears stroll down my cheeks while walking. Two minutes later, I sniffled and dried every trace of them.

Still, I kept walking with my cell phone ringing every two minutes.

It could be my mother. But all bets are on Miranda.

Sighing, I take a turn and stop at the apartment. Then I walk up to the Porche and sound a knock over the door.

I just need to shut my eyes.

“Oh, hi.”

Claire greets me, I blink multiple times and step back.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll go. I didn’t know you were…”

I stutter, bobbing my head.

I’m aware they are cousins, but it feels awkward. And Dylan isn’t here, so there’s no need to-

“Camilla.”

Dylan’s voice booms over her head. I exhale, trembling directly over the edge. Give me seven. Seven more seconds till I have a breakdown.

“I will take an extremely long walk now.”

Claire says in front of me, going back inside to retrieve her bag and then exiting. I exhale.

Four.

“Camilla, what’s wrong?”

I release another breath. Dylan reaches the door and I close the space between us.

Two.

“Camilla, talk to me.”

He palms my entire face.

Zero. I squeeze my eyes and stop holding back. I shake so intensely, my balance on the ground shifts and I fall back into his arms.

“Can you just hold me? For like ten seconds. Just-”

I stop mid-sentence when Dylan’s hand reaches the back of my head, pressing me into his chest.

******

Well. Well. Well. Thoughts?