25. I Can’t!
Braelyn’s POV
“Brae?” Bri curiously looked at me after opening the door. I walked past her into the house.
“Were you really with Evan last night?” She trailed behind me.
“Yes. I am so sorry for leaving you alone last night.” I plopped down on the sofa.
“No worries. Ryan brought me home last night. But tell me something, did anything happen between you two?” She was trying to choose her words wisely.
“Yes. I woke up naked next to him and it’s all my fault. What was the need for me to drink stupidly like that? It’s because of me that we landed up in his bedroom.” I wanted to hit something so hard.
“Brae, it’s okay-” I cut her off.
“No it’s not. It’s not okay to hurt him like that repeatedly. I put myself in a position where I am forced to behave so cruelly to him to get myself out of the situation. ” I yelled, the frustration never leaving my system.
“What happened?” She calmly asked. She is the only person who can understand when my emotions are all over the place and deal with me patiently.
“My stupid drunk ass instilled some hope in him. Today morning he was speaking of starting afresh and having a happy life together. He was dreaming of something that can never come true.” I massaged my temple, his words fresh in my mind.
“Why don’t you try telling him everything, Brae? Maybe he will believe you. Both of you are hurting so why not finish it?” I was shaking my head even before she could complete.
“I can’t.” I stated as a matter of fact.
“What do you mean you can’t? Of course you can. It isn’t like he is not even remotely interested in your explanations. When he is pleading with you multiple times to come clean to him then what can possibly be the problem?” Though her voice was controlled, the frustration was evident in her tone.
“Kate. She is the problem.” And I wanted to strangle that problem to death with my own hands.
“Where did she come from?” She looked at me in horror.
“She came back. In fact she was never gone. She had always been with Evan, making him believe in their false companionship, pretending to be his well wisher. She has his complete trust. I am the one who wasn’t there at all.”
“But who is he still after? Who is he chasing? You, Brae, you. Only you’re there in his heart and only you can complete him.” My heart constricted painfully at her words.
“I can’t, Bri I can’t.” I yelled this time , tears flowing out of my eyes freely.
…………….
“Let her do anything Brae. I don’t care. You go and tell Evan everything.” I raised my head from my hands to look at her like she was mad.
“You aren’t getting it, are you? She threatened to destroy your life if I told Evan anything. Given her reputation, I believe that she can do anything.” I spoke every word clearly and loud to make her understand.
“I understand, I understand quite well and still I am telling you to confess everything to Evan and be happy with him.” She looked at me with a lot of seriousness. Was she seriously considering this? I would never do something like that when it involves my sister.
“Don’t be silly , Bri. I can’t throw you away in flames to complete my fairy tale.” I let out tired.
“But-” I cut her off
“No buts Bri. Whatever I said is final.” She sighed deeply before sitting down beside me.
“What did you tell him today?” This time her voice was a lot softer. I fidgeted, knowing fully well that I wouldn’t be able to check my tears if I recall how cruel I had been to him.
“Brae?” She looked expectantly at my face. I exhaled and prepared myself to spill everything.
“That it was a drunken mistake and whatever happened between us didn’t mean anything to me.” I murmured slowly. Even the words sounded so bad, worse than what Evan could ever deserve.
“What!?” There was shock mixed with sadness on her face.
“I am tired, Bri. I am tired of hurting him time and again. I hate him for not giving up on me already.” I felt like pulling my hair out of frustration. Bri put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. I immediately threw myself at her, hugging her like my life depended on it.
“Each time I hurt him, I feel like someone is stabbing my heart. His desperate attempts, his pleading eyes frustrate me so much for not being able to give him what he wants.” She rubbed my back while I cried on her shoulder over my pathetic luck.
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Brielle’s POV
“Why aren’t you eating?” I asked, noticing that the food on her plate was almost as it was.
“I don’t want to.” I furrowed my eyebrows.
“Why ? It’s your favourite pizza.” She hasn’t had a great appetite these days. Thus I ordered her favourite pizza which never failed to lift her mood.
“I am full. I will go and sleep.” She got up and managed a small smile on her face which I returned.
“Good night.”
“Good night.” She closed the door behind her.
I sighed thinking over the condition these days. Since that club night, Brae has become more and more gloomy. Her cruel words had hurt herself just as much as it hurt Evan, if not more.
For the last three years, there has constantly been a guilty feeling inside me. At the back of the mind, I have always felt that somewhere I was the reason why these two were separated. After Mom and Dad’s death, Brae had taken up the responsibility of taking over their places in my life.
I still remember those days when we used to play around in the garden with Dad, we learnt gardening from him. Mom used to bake cookies while we would sit on the kitchen counter waiting for it to be out of the oven.
We were together in everything and I felt like she was more of my twin than my elder sister. I remember me and Brae fighting for Dad’s attention and he used to laugh at the maturity of his girls.
But after the accident, she suddenly grew up. She took up my responsibility and she wasn’t that carefree, childish Brae anymore. She indeed became more than my elder sister.
And then she gave up her happiness for me. Evan was her first love, the man of her dreams. They were literally an ideal couple, always beside each other in everything. The separation had such an effect on her. She was never really happy after they broke up but she still smiled for me, joked with me to lift up my mood but I never believed her acting. I knew she was hurting and seeing her like that was really painful for me.
Gradually she grew to live with it, smiled more often but had never forgotten or gotten over Evan. Him not being anywhere near her at that time let her cope up somehow but this time this was more painful for her. Seeing the man she loves everyday but not being able to be with him was going to put her into depression. She was always quiet, keeping to herself, skipping meals and this was really worrying me.
I switched the television off and walked into our room. Brae was curled up on her side of the bed. There were dry tear stains on her cheek. I couldn’t let this happen, I couldn’t just let her cry herself to sleep every night. She too deserved to be happy and I will make that happen.Content © provided by NôvelDrama.Org.
“Good night, Sis.” I pulled the cover on her and switched the lights off.