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She took a step back and shook her head in the fashion of a disappointed teacher. “I assume you decided a year of marriage was long enough for the law to be on your side if I refused to play ball over custody arrangements? How clever you are, my husband. You think of everything. I congratulate you on your deviousness. If only I was a poor woman, you could have gone straight for the jugular and used your wealth to get full custody without a fight. But I’m not going to fight you…” Her nostrils flared.” Not unless you force me.”
Eyes like lasers, she hissed,” I will never stop you seeing our son but you will have to kill me before I let you take him from me. Now please excuse me, I hear a car-that will be my driver.” She turned her back to him and leaned down to pick up the car seat.
“Are you not going to give me the courtesy of hearing me out?” Nicholas asked in as modulated a tone as he could manage when he could barely hear his own voice over the roar of the heartbeats drumming in his ears. But the car coming to drive her away…he could hear that. Hear it closing in on them.
Her back to him, she retorted, “I heard everything I needed to hear when you were talking to your father.”
“So you’ve appointed yourself judge and jury?” Hooking his hands to her shoulders, he spun her round. “This is the very reason I wanted us to marry.
You think you are entitled to decide everything but you do not get to decide everything when it comes to our child. I’m his father.”
“You’re a liar,” she snarled in his face. Any pretense at calm had gone. The facade she’d been wearing had dissolved like a block of salt hitting hot water. “You said you wanted us to be a family and give Charlie stability and I believed you. I swallowed my pride and did what was best for our son when all the time you were doing only what was best for yourself.”
“I was protecting my interests. How do I know you will always do what’s best for him?” he demanded, his anger flaring back to life. “Things change and people change, and I know that money and power can be weaponized against a child’s best interests. I was fully aware that if you decided to kick me out of our son’s life, I would have an uphill battle to fight you so, yes, I lied to you, but what would you have me do? Would you have me on the fringe of our son’s life waiting for the day you decide even that is too much? Without marriage, any agreement we made about access and custody would be on your terms. Everything has to be on your terms.
You don’t trust anyone with him. You’re scared to let him out of your sight.”
“And why do you think that is?” she screamed, eyes wild. “My life almost turned to hell! Loving him saved me-he was my saving grace because he was the only part of you I had left, and I will not apologize for being over-protective, not when we spent the first eleven months of his life alone…”
All the fight and fury in him dissolved at the same speed hers had risen. Staring at her furiously stricken face sent the punches rippling through him harder and faster than they’d ever punched through him before. But the fight had left her too. Tears broke through her rage and she swiped them away furiously.
“Damn you, Nick,” she sobbed. “Why couldn’t you just leave me alone? Why did you have to do this? I never denied you any part of him. I swallowed my pride and my hate for all you’d done to me and welcomed you into our lives for Charlie’s sake and I made my family welcome you too, and still you think I’m just waiting for an excuse to kick you. You still see me in the same way you see everyone else-as potential hurt to be pushed aside before they can get close enough to reject you. You’re a fully grown man who knows better than to treat people worse than dogs, but that’s how you’ve treated me. How could you do this to me? Knit my heart back together and then willingly rip it apart again? Did you ever have feelings for me,” But then she covered her ears and staggered back.” No. I don’t want to hear it. I can’t. You’ve broken me enough.”
The car had pulled alongside them. The driver had got out and was watching them. Pulling her shoulders up, Caroline carried the car seat to him. “Can you strap it in for me, please?” Her hands were shaking too much to do it herself.
About to get into the car, she turned to stare at Nicholas one last time. He hadn’t moved. His features were unreadable. Raising her chin, she swallowed and said, “I will instruct my lawyers to draft a custody agreement when I get home. It will be as fair as it can be to all three of us.”
And then she closed the door, turned her face away from him and gazed at her son. Charlie’s eyes were open. He looked at her and gave a beaming smile that melted her broken heart.
Nicholas watched the car until it was no longer in sight. He couldn’t make his legs move to return inside. He sank down on the top step of the terrace and waited for the cold fog that had enveloped him to pass. Clasping his pounding head, he swallowed hard.
Everything inside him felt bruised and tight. Deep in the pit of his stomach, sickness churned, rising up his throat to leave a bitter, metallic taste in his mouth. Time slipped away. The fog didn’t clear… Not until he caught the sound of a distant car nearing.
His heart thumped then everything in him slumped to realize the sound was coming from the wrong direction. A moment later, his father’s car appeared.
Frank parked in front of Nicholas and put his elbow on the lowered window. “Everything okay?”Ccontent © exclusive by Nô/vel(D)ra/ma.Org.
He managed to jerk a nod.
“You’re sure?”