40
Caroline stared at the hard rigidness of Nicholas’ back, wondering what he was thinking. What he thought of her. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be any worse than what she thought of herself. She wondered now how everything was going to change.
“What is there left for us to talk about?” she bit out. “Whether or not you are going to fire me when we get home,”
His eyes had narrowed to slits as he turned to look at her. “Who said anything about firing you?”
Caroline gave a disbelieving snort. “What else is there when this keeps happening between us? We can’t work together like this,” She breathed shakily, wondering if she could possibly feel any worse than she already did. She trembled just at the memory of the intimacies they had shared. “How can we continue working together?”
His mouth tightened. “Do you want us to continue working together?”
She grimaced. “I don’t think what I want comes into it, do you?”
“Oh, I think that it does.” He nodded slowly, pale gaze unreadable.
Caroline closed her eyes briefly before raising her lids to look at him once again. “I want just now not to have happened,” she muttered gruffly. “I want us to have a professional relationship,”
Nicholas gave a humorless smile. “And if that proves to be impossible?”
She swallowed hard. “Then I’ll have to consider leaving.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.
He continued to look at her for several long minutes before nodding abruptly. “In that case, I suggest we try to keep our hands off one another from now on. I don’t see the need for your resignation.”
How different this could have been if Nicholas had loved her, Caroline wished achingly. If he loved her as she was starting to love him… Because she did love him. She had absolutely no doubts about that now. She knew she could never have behaved in the way she just had, never have responded in that way, if she wasn’t already in love with him.
Just as Caroline knew that the only way she could stay in his life was if he never knew that she loved him. “I still can’t believe-” Caroline broke off with a self-conscious groan. “Jim or Jennie could have walked in on us a few minutes ago!”
“But they didn’t.” His eyes flashed.
“More by luck than judgment!” Caroline’s eyes flared darkly, knowing that anger was probably a safer emotion than the complete devastation she really felt.
“Stop beating yourself up, Care, and just go to bed,” Nicholas rasped wearily.
One look at the grimness of his expression told her that he didn’t want to talk about this any more tonight, either. If ever! Which suited her perfectly. Caroline could imagine nothing more cringe-making, more embarrassing, than discussing her complete lack of control a few minutes ago. A lack of control that still made her body tremble and quake with remembered pleasure… “Fine.” She nodded abruptly. “I-I’ll see you in the morning, then.
“No doubt,” Nicholas bit out.
Caroline hesitated only long enough to give him one last, lingering glance before hurrying from the room and up the stairs to the bedroom, closing the door sharply behind her, wishing she could as easily close the door on her memories.
How would she ever be able to so much as look at him without those memories blazing between them?
She would certainly never be able to look at Nicholas without knowing that she was falling for him…
__________
“It was kind of Jim and Jennie to pack lunch for us,” Caroline ventured softly later the next morning as she turned to wave to the landlord and his wife as they stood in the doorway of the inn, watching them leave. The snow-plough had done its job and cleared the minor road earlier this morning now that the major roads were driveable.
Nicholas slanted her a brief glance. “And you could use a little kindness right now, hmm?” He watched as a becoming blush coloured her cheeks. Cheeks that until a few minutes ago had been deathly pale.
Not that Nicholas felt much better. He hadn’t slept well the previous night, and that lack of sleep owed nothing to the uncomfortableness of the chair he’d slept in and more to the fact that he couldn’t get Caroline out of his head. Kissing her. How she had felt. How soft and creamy her skin was. How responsive her body was to the slightest caress. Of how she had completely come apart in his arms.
He had still been able to taste her. To feel her. Her skin had felt so satin-smooth. Her breasts had fit perfectly into his hands. Her curls had been soft and silky to the touch as he’d sought and found the center of her arousal. Caroline had been so responsive, so completely beautiful, as he’d felt her climax against his stroking fingers.
Nicholas hadn’t been able to get the memory of that from his head. He still couldn’t. So much so that all he wanted to do right now was take Caroline to the nearest bed and finish what they had started last night. He wanted to see her naked. He wanted to know if those silky-soft curls were as her hair. Wanted to touch and kiss the petalled rose between her thighs, to drive her over that edge with the touch of his lips and tongue. Most of all, he wanted to bury himself inside that rosy moistness, to stroke himself inside her again and again until they both found release.
In the circumstances it was probably as well that he had to concentrate so hard on his driving. The roads were still slightly icy despite having been gritted overnight. Although that didn’t stop his thoughts from constantly returning to the previous evening… What the hell was happening between the two of them?
Last night, Caroline was amazing. Her coolness had completely melted to reveal a woman with physical passions that ran as fiercely as his own. She had been so hot and responsive, almost wild in her pleasure. Had she ever reacted in the same way in another man’s arms? Jealousy wasn’t an emotion Nicholas recognized. In the same way he didn’t recognize possessiveness. He had never had any use for either emotion. And yet just the thought of any other man bringing her to the same release he had last night filled Nicholas with anger.
“Perhaps you don’t like my particular brand of kindness?” he rasped insultingly.