ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Kathy PovThis content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

I stared at my wedding dress again, I have been standing there and watching for about twenty minutes, lost in my thoughts, after today, there is no going back, after today, I will be a married woman whether I liked it or not, loveless marriage to a man who has been turning everything I know about upside down, I didn’t know what I expected before but it most certainly wasn’t the way he was behaving, he called me two days ago, he had been drunk anyway but still he asked how I was feeling, I had not known how to respond to him. My dress is a beautiful white dress with sea blue Pearls that catches my eye, I traced my hands through the beautiful dress trying to get my head around everything, I stared at the pale simple band that was around my fingers, I liked the fact that it wasn’t anything extra, by the end of today I will have another band. “You can do it, Kat,” I said to myself. “Kathrine? Have you dressed already?” My nanny asked walking into the room, my old nanny had come around for the wedding and is the only one that I have been speaking with, by the end of today, I will be out of this house, and I don’t plan on returning, not anytime soon. “Not yet nanny,” I answered smiling at her. “Kathy, your siblings are worried about you, why aren’t you talking to them?” “Nanny, can we not talk about it? I am not in the mood for this, I just want this day to be over before it starts,” “I understand Kathy, I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do but know that they love you no matter what, get dress my dear,” She was wrong though, they didn’t love me, they preferred to remain on the family good book than help me, they are all just here for the family name, no one cared about me or each other, I won’t be surprised if they end up fighting each other for an inheritance, I don’t care though, I am not gonna have anything to do with them, after I get married I plan on starting my own life in New York and live the most of every moment. I put on the dress, I already had my makeup done, I asked the makeup artist to do light make up for me, Anna would arrive anytime now, she is someone I can talk to too, and kept me company throughout the wedding rehearsals, even though we barely talk but at least the silence is also comfortable. “Kathrine?” I turned as my older sister walked in, I looked at her and went back to dressing. “Kathy? Until when are you going to give us the silent treatment? You know what you are doing is not fair, you are making us the bad people when it is all your fault, stop playing the victim card already, you knew what will happen so why are you mad at us for a decision you took by yourself? Why do we have to suffer for your actions?” I didn’t bother to answer her, I had nothing to say to her, victim card? I wasn’t even playing any card, I was just going along with what they did, they decided I wasn’t worthy of a chance and now they suddenly think I will up and start laughing with them. “You are not going to say a thing? You are just going to keep quiet? What did I expect? You have always been a selfish bitch, only thinking about yourself,” She said, I didn’t know why she was getting worked up by the fact that I ain’t talking to them, they didn’t want to have anything to do with me so why are they getting mad for doing the same. “Nora, just let it go already,” My older brother said as he, his wife to be and Belly entered my room. “She is being insensitive, it been over a month already, we don’t deserve how she is treating us, our parents don’t deserve it either, she messed up not us,” She said and I rolled my eyes. “Can you all please leave? I need to get dressed,” I said I didn’t owe them any explanation nor did I have to listen to them. “Is that all you have to say, Kathy? Really? You are being selfish like Nora said,” Nelly said. “I don’t know why you guys are bent on getting a reaction from me I don’t expect anything from you guys, I don’t owe you any explanation either, Nora, you were the one I called when I was going through hell, you were the one that told me never to call you so that you won’t get in trouble, I did as you asked so why do you keep saying I am playing a victim card, I never spoke to you like your requested, please leave me alone, it’s my wedding day, please I don’t wanna get angry today, please you all leave my room, my bridesmaid is here and you guys are blocking the entrance.” I said, pointing at the door where Anna stood, probably contemplating coming in or not, they made way for her and I told her to come in, which she did, she greeted them before sitting on my bed awkwardly. “Please leave, I need to get dressed,” I said to them again, this time they listened and all left leaving me and Anna alone. “What should I help you do? I am new to this,” She said and I smiled. “Help me with the zipper,” I said. “You look beautiful, Crosse is lucky to have you,” She complimented. “Thanks, you are beautiful too.” I replied. She helped me get dressed and about an hour later I was in the car heading to the church to get married to a man who didn’t care about but who helped me, I may not love him but at least I respected him, I hope he does the same to me…