The Mafia’s Wanted Desires

ASHLEY

“Look, Riley, you are beginning to__” I sucked in a breath. The impact of the high octave my voice held wasn’t so subtle against my temples. A terrible ache hammered against my temples consequently, eliciting a groan from me.

I fell back onto the surface of the pillow, puffing out a breath before rolling to the other side.

“Riley,” I took a deep breath.

“Handle everything,” I added.

“I can’t show up to work for now. I am a little under the weather.” I told her, pulling the covers over my body.

“I am sorry about that, Mrs. Gray. I will handle everything, I promise.” She answered, her voice etched with concern.

“Will you be fine, ma’am?” She asked me and I sighed, nodding my head as though she could see me.

“Yes, Riley. I’ll be fine.” I responded and hung up on her.

It was rude, but it was the best thing for both of us.

Keeping up the conversation would only spike my irritation further and I didn’t want another one of my meltdowns where I just snap at everything and everyone. Arden has mostly been at the receiving end of it all.

I heaved a breath of frustration underneath the covers where I was curled into a ball. My limbs hurt so badly, I could barely move it. I threw the covers off my body, sat up and dug my fingers into my hair. My eyes were filled with liquid in no time and I grabbed the pillow, screaming into it to release my pent-up frustration.

I hated how much of a crybaby I was becoming. The littlest things make me cry these days. I couldn’t get food into my system at times but it didn’t diminish my___

“Fuck,” I shot up from the bed as quickly as I could, slapping my palm over my mouth. I dashed into the bathroom, pushing open the lid of the toilet seat.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

I emptied my guts into it, without holding back. The puking drained me and it had me dropping to the floor with a thud. My fingers came up to the side of my head, digging into my hair. I groaned in discomfort.

“I hate this,” I grumbled.

Thinking about the fact that Arden was supposed to be here with me and he wasn’t made me grit my teeth in annoyance. He had some stupid emergency business trip he had to tend to. The bastard left before I__okay, fine. He didn’t. He tried telling me he was leaving for France but I told him to get out of my face because he was interrupting my sleep.

Yeah, you shouldn’t have yelled at him. My subconscious snickered and I rolled my eyes. With the little strength I had left in me, I pushed myself off the floor and headed to the sink. I opened the faucet and rinsed my mouth, alongside my face.

My head dropped limply as I set my hands on the sink surface, releasing a soft breath. My eyes fluttered shut but they soon flew open due to restlessness. My head shot up, my eyes darting to my tired reflection in the mirror.

I was stunned into silence. I could have seen anything coming but not how exhausted I looked. I was tempted to go back into the room to pick up my phone to call Arden and tell him to come back home because I didn’t understand what was going on with me.

My blurry eyes took in my appearance. My hair was thrown in a careless bun in which nearly all the strands of my hair were covering my face and sticking in different directions. My eyes were so pale, stained with reddish essences around my sclera. My skin was flushed, the red undertones becoming so pronounced due to my endless crying.

I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t stand my reflection anymore without my skin crawling with utmost revulsion. The woman in the mirror looked nothing like me. Hissing through clenched teeth, I stormed out of the bathroom and marched into the closet.

I grabbed the hem of the baggy tee I was wearing, pulling it over my head and I tossed it somewhere in the room. I unhooked my bralette, whimpering softly at how heavy my boobs felt.

I discarded it and while rummaging through my drawers, my eyes landed on a few boxes of tampons in my drawer__my blood ran cold.

I moved away from the drawer, going over to the full-length mirror, where I could assess my body.

“I am late,” I whispered to myself. I have never been late. In the history of women with regular periods, I was so sure I would be topping that list. What made it so glaring was the fact that I was starting to realise that I didn’t get my period last month and this month’s was a few days late.

What the hell is going on?

“No,” I chuckled, running my fingers through my hair while pacing around the room.

My heartbeat took up a faster pace, hammering loudly against my ribcage, threatening to burst out of its confines because of the erratic beating of my heart. Dread filled me up, consuming me.

“Fuck!” I whispered.

I stopped pacing, letting out a shaky breath and brushed my hair backwards. The air in the closet suddenly felt so suffocating. I was choking on my breath and I knew I had to get out of there.

I returned to the bathroom to take a shower, trying to repress the glaring truth that struggled to resurface in my mind. It was right there. Like a bundle of nerves waiting to be poked, but I was so terrified of pricking that open wound, knowing it meant admitting what I didn’t want to admit.

While I browsed through my closet, the signs were there, waving themselves in my way like a dollar bill, but I chose to ignore them because embracing it would only cause me more harm than good.

“Irregular periods are normal. It’s nothing to worry about, Ashley.” I said to myself, plastering a smile on my face. With one last glance at my reflection, I snatched my phone off the nightstand to go get some food to eat in the kitchen.

I dragged my feet lazily against the surface of the stairs, running my palm across the iron bars. I heaved a sigh of relief. I didn’t know I was hoarding within me when I realised that none of the maids were hanging around.

With an eye roll, I made my way into the kitchen, unannounced.

My presence garnered the attention of Alberta, who was busy by the sink. The hope that brewed within me at the thought of seeing Zelda in the kitchen, was quelled in no time when I detected her absence. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach but I managed to plaster a smile on my face.

“Good morning, Alberta,” I mumbled to the older woman, who was still sporting a radiant smile on her face, despite the current strain between her and her daughter.

Sure, I might have been distracted, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t paying attention to the current state of things between Alberta and Zelda. Their relationship had completely gone sour. Zelda recoiled into her shell, completely. Even though she was around, her absence was mostly what we got at times.

I knew how badly Alberta was hurting and I hated how she was trying to cover it up that she was fine. The distance between her and her daughter was killing her. I knew it.

All these wouldn’t be happening if it weren’t for that__

“Mrs. Gray?” Her soft voice lured me out of my thoughts and I blinked, my gaze drifting to her.

“Yes?” I inquired, arching my brow at her.

“I asked if you were hungry. We have varieties for breakfast.” She answered me, keeping her eyes fixated on me.

Her violet orbs held a hint of question and worry in them. I wasn’t so fixated on the fact that she might have something boggling her mind, instead, I had far more important things to worry about.

“Yeah, um…I’ll have whatever it is that’s available. Thank you, Alberta.” I smiled at her and she nodded, proceeding to whip up something for me.

“How is she?” I asked out of the blue and I watched her hands freeze against the saucer she was holding. My heart clenched in pain but it wore off when she exhaled.

“She’s…” Her voice trailed off, breaking bit by bit. She soon pulled herself together, sighing softly for the umpteenth time.

“Lost,” That one word was barely audible. It broke me and shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. The stinging sensation in my eyes brought me back to my senses, eliciting a light sob from me.

I couldn’t stay there anymore, the air suddenly felt so toxic. I spun around and dashed out of the kitchen, trying my hardest to steady my quivering lips. With each step I took, heading for the staircase, my eyes blurred.

The sharp ringtone that shot through the speakers of my phone, which vibrated against my back pocket, filled the room and caused me to halt in my tracks.

I sniffed, wiping my tears. I whipped the phone out of my shorts pocket.

My fingers hovered on the screen of my phone, my lips twitching in displeasure. A confused frown made its way to my face. I furrowed my brows, contemplating picking up the call or not, because there was no display name. It was an unknown number calling me.

I tried slipping the phone back into my pocket but the minute it stopped ringing, it would start ringing again. It was incessant and it was beginning to get on my nerves.

Irritated, I swiped the receiver’s icon.

“WHAT?” I barked into the phone. All the anger that surged through my veins was directed at the word that shot through my mouth. Its resonance reverberated throughout the room.

“Hello, Ash.”